Bits and Pieces

Perfection

2009-07-16T20:09:00.005-04:00

Ohhh myyy goooodnessss. This is my ideal place though a bit busy. Look at this craziness. I love every inch of it. Click the photo for photos of the rest of the house. It's magnificent.

Internet? <3 DVRS <3 Life

2009-07-16T19:02:00.003-04:00

I have been absent from computer life as we were moving things into the new townhouse and as I have been far too lazy to set up my computer. I mean really there is no point. I'm not home much anymore because of my job, and the time that I am home is mostly spent with the boy. I find this a good thing as previously I could be labeled as an internet addict. It's good for my brain and for my pocketbook as I am less tempted by things on etsy.com. So it's all good. I just check my email and that's about it nowadays. I'm sure I'll find a balance between the previous internet craziness and the current lack of any internet at all at some point. Rob and I have the place to ourselves for a few weeks. We haven't had a weekend together in a long time so we will get a few things done, including putting my computer up.

I am still in love with this townhouse. So very much in love. Once we have EVERYTHING put away I will take photos for le blog.

Job is amazing. I really have the best job in the world. I enjoy going in every day, I love the girls, I love doing things with them, and I get about 2 hours in the afternoon to myself to relax. It's the best job (for me) ever.

We now have Verizon Fios and it's been great so far. We are finally able to view HD on our awesome HD flat screen and we also have a DVR which I could not recommend more. I am always rewinding and pausing live TV. I've recorded a bunch of shows like The Simpsons and So You Think You Can Dance because I can never remember when the eff they're on and if I do remember I'm usually busy doing something else. DVRS are frickin fantastic.

Life is pretty awesome. The only thing is I really need some health insurance, it would be great if I could lose the 10 pounds I gained in the last few months (although my period has come 3 months in a row now, pretty much in tune with the weight gain, so I wonder if that has something to do with it hmmm????) and I would love to figure out other health things like the enormous amount of hair that comes off my head each day and other business. Those are my only complaints of life right now. And also I would like a raise, but I don't think that need will ever be fulfilled. Nannies don't make $100k.

Mah Job

2009-06-20T09:37:00.003-04:00

The last week with the kiddos has been great. Sooooo many things happen each day that it is pretty hard to recap. It's only been a week but I've already seen some improvements in certain areas, the little one has started to walk finally, and I've gotten to know their habits and likes/dislikes for the most part. It's awesome. I signed the contract yesterday, so I officially start next week under it.

Today I'm going to see the eldest in her ballet recital. Hehe. It'll be soo cute :D

I only have FOUR HOURS between when I get home and when I need to go to sleep. That majorly sucks. I can't wait to move into the new place so I can have all my craft stuff out, my movies, etc. Because on one hand it feels like we don't have enough time to do anything but on the other I feel bored at home now haha. Hopefully just a week or so before we can start putting our stuff in the place. Not sure about that though. We're renting it from the owner so she should be cool about us moving our stuff in a few days before the actual lease starts. She was super nice and such.

So that's my life as of now. Boy and work is about all I can cram in haha. When I'm home I have to do work a bit too - thinking of activities and planning meals etc. So I'm a busy chica.

I'M A NANNY!

2009-06-12T19:19:00.002-04:00

I'm a nanny!!!!! I spent the whole day with the children today. I love them! The oldest loves to do things and of course I have to push her here and there (that's the only way growth happens!) but she is very compliant and easy going for the most part. The younger one is a joy, giggly, smiley, except when she needs to eat or sleep and then she falls apart, but it's not hard to figure out what she needs and fix it. They both are great as far as kids go. One common misconception of children is they are constantly loud and annoying and defiant and angry, etc. Yes they are sometimes. But if your child is like that every day, he/she has problems, which may or may not originate with the way he/she is raised. The family is great, both parents are fun and easy going and we get along very well. Everything is perfect! Except for the pay! It's much better than anything else I've found BUT it's still kind low. Hopefully I can bump it up a few dollars after 6 months or so? I hope so!!!! Just two dollars would make a world of difference for me at this point!

Um, and also, did I mention that I am going to Erie tomorrow to pick up a 2008 dark blue Suzuki SX4? Oh yeah. THAT. Yes IT'S TRUE!!!!! Dad bought an SX4 for me! SORT OF. I am going to pay some of it (not sure how much??? He said "your share over time"????). I'm going to pay what I can when I can. Which makes it a gillion times easier than trying to get a car on my own because I can pay say $100 a month to my dad. I make that in about a day. So that's pretty fucking awesome I'd say! AND I'M PICKING IT UP TOMORROW!!!!!!!

Life is amazing right now! I want to relish in this feeling FOREVER!!!!!!

SLAPABITCH

2009-06-10T16:59:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I want to punch my father in the face. And maybe the groin too.

In a few weeks I will be almost totally disassociated with 14901 Murray Rd (change of permanent address YESSS!!!!!) and will almost have absolutely no reason to be connected to him. Almost. Once I get rid of this awful, awful Buick PieceofShitSkylark I will be FREE FOR GOOD.

Speaking of which... I am trying to maybe get a car... a used one, nothing that great, just something that doesn't constantly have 2" of water in the bottom of it and maybe it won't have mold growing in it and maybe the air conditioning could work and oh maybe I could have power windows? Is that too much? But... I don't know if I can afford monthly payments, even if it's $150 a month. We'll see once I get my job. If I get one. Le sigh.

INTERVIEW!!!!!

2009-06-09T15:48:00.001-04:00

I have an interview for a nanny job for two little girls that belong to a family about 25 minutes north of here!!!!! It's tomorrow night! I'm so excited I could rupture my spleen!!!!!!! Today is the best day ever!

Townhouse for Me!

2009-06-09T12:47:00.002-04:00

Rob, Steph and I have been approved for this amazing townhouse! Now we just have to go over the lease and sign it and we'll officially have a new place to live in July! Here is the listing, but seriously it is sooo much better in person! I'll have to take photos of it before we move in and then after too. It's actually rented from the owner who we met and currently lives there (moving out next week I think). She is SUPER NICE and really liked us, it seemed. She is leaving the lawn mower and is willing to leave other things if we need them. It's just a perfect match all around! This is like the first thing in a month that has gotten me excited and out of my slump! I honestly didn't even care that much until just now. But today has been a good day so far and I'm excited to have been approved for the place. I would live here for years if we had enough space, I love it so much.

DC + Period from Hell

2009-06-05T10:47:00.004-04:00

Went to DC, Smithsonian Natural History Museum, Zaytinya, the most delicious food ever. I have photos but I'm off to Pittsburgh for the weekend so I don't' really have time to put them up. I did want to blog anyway just to note that I started my period yesterday, for record keeping's sake. So isn't that interesting!!! TWO MONTHS IN A ROW!!!!! Wtf! Is this a sign of good things? Is it because I've gained some weight? Because it is true that if you are under a certain weight (a certain % of body fat I believe) it is possible to stop having periods. Your body doesn't want you having babies if it thinks you can't bear them properly. Hmmm.... I have no idea.

Another thing of note is that I was EXTREMELY depressed for a week before it, now I'm feeling much better, and nothing in my life has really changed. So it's pretty much safe to say it's chemical related. And, I had the most horrible cramps of my LIFE. They started off as the usual diarrhea-y feeling, lower intestinal sort of thing. Not the sharp pains, but the churning and twisting and I have to explode out of my ass feeling. USUALLY I pop pills right away. But I didn't have any on me in the city. So we decided to go home. On the metro I THOUGHT I wanted to die. But no. I truly wanted to die in the car ride from the metro back to the apartment. Oh my god. It was EXCRUCIATING. I thought I was going to poop my pants, so we went to a gas station. I RAN in like the devil, but I only pooped a little turd! It still felt like I was going to have an ass explosion but I just had nothing. So weird. So we came home and I got naked and plopped myself on the toilet (for mental comfort and the position it gives me) and proceeded to wish for death while the meds kicked in. Then they started to and I felt better. I got in the tub and let the warm water soothe my muscles. Definitely the worst cramps of my life. Is this because I didn't take ibuprofen when I usually do? The beginning progression felt the same as usual. I took another dose before bed, and I haven't had any since and feel just fine now.

Anyway, could I have PDD? I don't know. I'm going to pissed as a motherfucker if I finally get normal periods and I'm one of the lucky few who have the worst type of period you could get that is filled with depression and intense pain. If there is a god (not God, but a god), FUCK HIM/HER/IT/THEM!!!! Hahaha. Just joking of course. But this is so unfair! Why can't we have periods without pain and hormone imbalance?!?!?!

Anyway that was my lovely day. It was pretty amazing before all of that. Boy loves me and took some days off not only for him but also to give me attention and take me out because I was feeling so horribly depressed :) He's a good boy.

Now off to see his family for a weekend. We missed their anniversary party the weekend before last and Bob is not feeling well so we really need to go.

Recent Good Times

2009-06-01T13:10:00.002-04:00

Monday: Mango pancakes outside on the patio. The first time Rob and I have been together on a day off since I got here. Rob wasn't all about the mangoes, but we had strawberries too. I have photos but I don't feel like messing with them now. Then we had a rainy cookout with friends in Fairfax.

Friday: Drove to State College, took a walk around the area a bit later. Then we went to the hotel bar and got nice and toasty.

Saturday: Wedding ceremony. Wedding reception. Wedding brunch. Good times. More alcohol. Yummy food! Then went out to a few bars, more alcohol, then to dinner. It was DELICIOUS. It was my kind of place - called The Deli. I had a seared tuna salad which was greens, edamamme, green beans, red pepper, radishes, sushi grade tuna just seared on the outside so it was still raw in the middle, and wasabi dressing. SOOOO good! And we had hummus bi tahini, falafel and baba ghanoush for an appetizer, but I'm pretty sure we didn't get the baba ghanoush??? I don't remember it. More alcohol. Drunk for nearly 24 hours at this point :) And most definitely all day since noon.

Sunday: Waffle Shop yummies and fresh squeezed orange juice. Drove home. Tried to see Up with some friends but it didn't work out, so Rob and I saw it at 7pm in 3D. It was SO GOOD! It had me crying, peeing my pants in laughter, and AW-ing. I loved it so much. I want to see it again. I will buy it when it comes out. The 3D aspect was great and really made it for me.

:)

In <3

2009-05-28T15:33:00.001-04:00

Boy = Happiness

2009-05-24T20:06:00.005-04:00

Rob is home from his bachelor party weekend. I missed him a lot. Just going to the grocery store was great fun :) He makes life good at every moment.

We went to California Tortilla for the first time and it was really good. Interesting place. It's nice to have some sort of casual restaurant to go to that isn't burgers and fries and things. Then we went to Yogi Castle! I've wanted to go to a frozen yogurt type place like this for so long now, ever since I heard of Pink Berry basically. There are lots of places like it, like Yogiberry. Anyway it was awesome! We tried basically all the flavors and toppings. It's a self-serve thing and then they weigh your cup. I loved it :D

And now we'll relax and just be together. He has work off tomorrow. We'll wake up and have mango pancakes out on the patio, and maybe go swimming. :D

*not my photo, and not of the same store, but the exact same concept

Friday

2009-05-22T14:47:00.001-04:00

I Love:

Walking to the farmer's market. It was hot outside and so it felt extra good to get inside the market. I bought several special things and it's always nice to get special things :) And then walked home. Love coming in from being hot and sweaty and in the sun - feels so nice, take off your shoes, feel the fan, eat your delicious food. Ahhh summer I love thee.

I Hate:

Knowing that Rob is going to 4 hours away until Sunday :( and I have to sleep in our bed alone.

Cottage Cheese Muffins with Hickory Smoked Bacon and Chives

2009-05-22T10:43:00.003-04:00

SWEET BABY JESUS THESE LOOK DEEELLIIICCCCIIOOUUUSSSSS. Gimme gimme!!!

Iron & Wine Around The Well + Boy With a Coin

2009-05-21T09:42:00.005-04:00

Thanks to Steph, my morning has been fabulous as I was informed that Iron & Wine has released a rare tracks album. I actually already have a handful of these songs from my time in high school when I used Limewire and waited 20 minutes for each song to download using dial up. But there are a lot I have NOT heard and this makes me giddy!!!!!

AND I discovered that there is a music video for Boy With a Coin, from his newest album, which is easily one of my most favorite songs by Sam Beam. Enjoy!!!!! I think you will like, mumsey.

WTF LIFE

2009-05-14T14:10:00.001-04:00

Anybody wanna be my sugar daddy? I'm SERIOUSLY considering getting a waitressing job instead of getting into child care. Because? I'd make more. This is depressing me.

Not dead.

2009-05-13T17:01:00.001-04:00

I live.

So close!!!!

2009-05-01T21:23:00.003-04:00

Moving time!

I went to Maryland Wednesday afternoon and came back this morning. Well, we LEFT this morning. We got caught up traffic for two hours. Apparently some trucks had crashed and spilled their cargo on the road at 6 AM THAT MORNING and they were still cleaning it up by at least 12. Good god!!!!!!!!! It was horrible. But the worst part (or best part?) was that my car started to overheat while crawling and stopping and crawling and stopping. So we figured out that the fan belt is broken. It was also raining. A lot. So we just waited on the shoulder. We eventually decided to just try out luck but had to get back on the shoulder a bunch of times because it got way too hot. Eventually we drove and turned it off every chance we got to. It was quite nerve wracking. Thought about just calling AAA at some point but what were they going to do? So we just hoped until it started moving again. Moving made it fine, cooled it down, which is why I hadn't noticed this before. So who knows how long it's been broken. So maybe it's a good thing we found out. But I nearly blew my engine out figuring this out. So yeah. My car is a piece of shit. Sigh.

Now we're packing. Tomorrow too. Then Sunday is GRADUATION!!!!!! I'm actually not that excited. I really just want to get it over with. The quicker it's done and I'm back to packing and getting the frick out of here the better! Loading the Uhaul Monday and especially UNLOADING it and going up the stairs is going to SUCK HARDCORE. Ughhhh. Then in a month we get to do it all over again to a new place. Hopefully not with stairs.

I just want to GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!

Aunt Flo

2009-04-30T11:02:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure whether to start this post with "uuuggghhh" or "yay!" Aunt Flo has come to town! It hurts. But it's good because of my situation. The last one I had was December 17, so a little over 4 months.

I like to blog about it because it's my way of writing down when it happened and such to remember for later.

Now it just makes me wonder WHY this happens. I mean why did I get it now. Did my hormones feel like being normal for a day? Is it because I've been eating a lot lately and have gained a bit of weight and held on to it consistently? Hmmm???? My BMI at 100 pounds is definitely NOT underweight. 95 pounds is just above being underweight. So it's not like I'm unhealthy. I've been weighing it at 105 lately as my morning weight because I haven't been cooking good food as per usual because of the stress and no time and no schedule. So is it like the fat content or the nutrients in my body giving me what I need to produce the right hormones? Or is it totally random and just comes up whenever my thyroid and pitituary and all that feel like randomly working? Hm! I do not know.

It's good to have it though as far being healthy. You really only need it every 3-4 months anyway actually. So we'll see if I get one at the end of August!

Maybe I don't have PCOS after all and this is just the way my body works???? But what about the hair loss and everything? Bah.

It sure does hurt though :( :( Wah.

Quilt Project

2009-04-26T10:04:00.003-04:00

Yep I'M INSANE. Wanna know why? I am ready to take on another QUILT. Not immediately of course. But yep!!!! I've been wanting to since Decemberish and I think I'll have time this summer even if I'm working. It'll take forever of course. But I'm excited. I have a rough idea of what I want. Here are some examples of my favorites. I want to mix gray and color, vintage and modern. I definitely want squares of linen. I already have a SMALL collection but will need more. Mmmm I can't wait! I want to use old unique vintage fabrics - which are hard to find sometimes but may be easier around the DC area in thrift stores, flea markets, what have you. And then of course there is always the internet but that can be actually more expensive than just buying someone's old sheet at a yard sale. Linen I can cut from dish towels as well.

Anyone have any old sheets, dishtowels, shirts, pillowcases, etc that you'd be willing to give up? Search those attics!!!!

Here are some of my favorites. What kind of pattern do you see? (IE what do I apparnetly like that I might want to incorporate into my quilt?)

So what do you think????? Small squares, big squares, rectangles, colors, pattern, border, etc etc?

Internship Done! Yummy Breakfast. Pretty Little Things.

2009-04-25T09:54:00.004-04:00

I'm done with my internship! I don't even know what to say. I learned a lot and it was great and I'm sad to leave. That about sums it up. Craziness. But I'm also glad to be done so I can MOVE ON and go to Maryland for happy times. I'm very proud of myself because I know I did a good job. I got a cake and a goodbye card too. :)

This is my breakfast yesterday. One of my favorites, but it's not quite french style. In Quebec I had the best breakfast of all time which I will never forget. A huge cup of hot chocolate - which is NOT our type of hot chocolate. I think it's literally just melted chocolate and some hot milk. It's amazing. And a huge buttery FRESH flaky croissant with butter and jam. Absolutely amazing breakfast. I have always liked those things as compared to eggs and bacon. I make pancakes all the time with butter and jam. Not a fan of syrup. I don't like most sugary things. Anyway, my other favorite breakfasts are cottage cheese and fruit and the like :D And here is a new pretty pillowcase that I found on Ebay (I actually got three others, all for $2.50 + shipping).

I love mismatched bedding (though this picture is not an example really) and vintage pillow cases and embroidered things. But it has to all be in the name of vintage modern and a bit of Scandinavian and ... that umph I love, as to not make it grandma looking. It's hard to explain. Basically this book says it all but you can't see all of the pages of course. And.

One More Week....

2009-04-21T15:41:00.002-04:00

Okay, I've obviously wanted to graduate for quite some time now it has hit me like a bloody hurricane this past week! When Rob left Sunday I was so incredibly sad and cried a lot. It felt so weird Monday, just out of it, missing him, dreading work. Now that my last lesson plan is done I feel better because that was a big "looming" thing. Now I have to study for my last exam tomorrow and work on my term project which is due on Monday. UGH!!!! Oh and observe and write a paper tomorrow... and write a paper tonight hahaha... O_O and I have clients Thursday and Friday. They want me to do a family session with one of my clients but I just don't know about that. I'm going to be seeing MY client (part of the family) anyway but I feel it might be a little out of my expertise or something. And they want me to do it this Thursday and next. Definitely can't do it next Thursday. I think I'll be in Maryland. Ugh there are just so many things going on!!!!

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!! 7 days... next Tuesday is my last day in the center and I will have to write a log about that and then I'M DONE!

4 years. Absolute craziness I tell you. I knew this was my last semester but it feels so abrupt.

Good Weekend

2009-04-19T23:30:00.003-04:00

Last group was Saturday. Got that over with. Brought in food and made friendship bracelets and listened to music and things. I'm so glad it's over you have no idea. I never have to write "group stuff" in my planner again. It was interesting and sometimes enjoyable (mostly the anger group) and I am really glad I did it but wowza. I'm glad it's over as well. I'm so tired and out of it and stressed right now I can't even really be that happy that it's over though haha. I'm just like a zombie.

This weekend Rob came, and I needed to see him BAAADDD. He makes everything happy just like that. Of course I'm still stressed about things but he makes everything so much easier. He got here late Saturday night (it was his birthday so he was with his family Saturday) and we took a walk in the PERFECT weather! It had been 72 that day (yep while I was stuck in the office) and it was still so nice out. So we walked to campus and looked at some things and watched people playing tennis. I wish I had my camera because there were so many pretty things but I also just got to enjoy the walk instead of looking through my camera the whole time so that was nice. Then Saturday we slept in and then went to Walmart to get things for a little cookout because it was nice out again. Overcast, but 69 degrees at one point at least the last time we checked. We headed down to the lake and Rob made a little fire on which to cook our hot dogs. There were two dogs there and we didn't know where they came from - a neighbor perhaps. They looked pretty healthy (although dirty from swimming and being in the woods) so they didn't look like strays but whoooo knows. So we played with them a lot and gave them a hot dog.

Got custard at The Meadows :D

Perfect Bags

2009-04-19T21:28:00.001-04:00

Dude. So pretty.

"Away We Go"

2009-04-17T09:52:00.004-04:00

This looks downright awesome. Some of my favorite actors and it's a great "life subject." I freakin love it!!!! Can't wait to see it. Also the end made me laugh right out loud.

Best Sandwich Ever

2009-04-14T20:28:00.004-04:00

Yep this is my favorite sandwich. I had it at Busboys & Poets in DC and made it for myself for the first time last week. I made it tonight again. It's just amazing. I can't explain to you what it tastes like, because the brie and the onions and the spinach all together are so unique. Which is why I love it. I love trying new things especially food.

Mom Jeans

2009-04-12T23:31:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite skits. Awesome.

Least Religious Countries

2009-04-10T12:29:00.002-04:00

For real, Sweden kicks ass. I have wanted to live there for years now. It's just plain awesome. The best design AND ... the #1 non-religious country. Observe.

1. Sweden (up to 85% non-believer, atheist, agnostic)
2. Vietnam
3. Denmark
4. Norway
5. Japan
6. Czech Republic
7. Finland
8. France
9. South Korea
10. Estonia (up to 49% non-believer, atheist, agnostic)

AND

The survey concluded that "high levels of organic atheism are strongly correlated with high levels of societal health, such as low homicide rates, low poverty rates, low infant mortality rates, and low illiteracy rates, as well as high levels of educational attainment, per capita income, and gender equality. Most nations characterized by high degrees of individual and societal security have the highest rates of organic atheism, and conversely, nations characterized by low degrees of individual and societal security have the lowest rates of organic atheism. In some societies, particularly Europe, atheism is growing. However, throughout much of the world -- particularly nations with high birth rates -- atheism is barely discernible."

Yep... imagine where we would be as a society if we had rid of religion long, long ago? In fact there were some places that were mostly religion-free and extremely scientifically advanced. Intelligence and education were valued above everything else. But they were wiped out by religious war. Or so I've heard. Awesome...

Photos, For Real!

2009-04-06T00:16:00.036-04:00

Photos? Say what?

Yeah, I've been taking them here and there, but had not time nor motivation to edit and upload. But I felt like it tonight for whatever reason.

P.S. I had an awesome weekend and Ray LaMontagne was GREAT live!!!! He was sooo good! He didn't sing "Sarah" but that's alright. Just hearing him sing "Empty" live pretty much made the whole thing amazing. We went bowling, watched some Tim & Eric Awesome Show Good Job, went out to eat, went to Starbucks, lots of fun things. It's just fun talking with those guys we always have a good time.

So here are some photos from what feels like forever ago. One weekend Rob came up, and we spent the whole weekend together basically in bed watching television and drinking old E Saturday night :D Bliss!

P.S. If you decide to click on them to view the larger version, I realize they are HUGE, so in case you didn't know, you can hold Ctrl and scroll your mouse wheel to make it bigger/smaller. You can do this with text/pics on any webpage.

And then in MD V-day, Rob and I got salmon and made sushi :D There was so much that I was able to just eat it plain (sashimi) and take a bunch home to eat later. It was awesome.

We had some leftover whipping cream from making truffles (next pics) and we made butter.

TRUFFLES!

Pics from when we went to D.C. These are from Eastern Market.

Rob & Dory

Ravioli

Mmm Tasty

Mmm photoshop

Original and edited (I don't usually do this)

Pickles!

77 degrees!!!!!

I looooved the architecture - I wish I had taken more time to take photos but we were with Dory and had a small time frame. Maybe next time Rob and I go to D.C. we can take more time being artistic. Rob is good at dealing with me when I take 10 minutes looking at rust :D And yes the below photo is all artistically altered.

Where we had dinner. This place was not only cool LOOKING (was hard to get a good shot, it was it was cooly decorated and open to the outside) but I had the best sandwich of my LIFE here. I think it was brie, spinach, carmaleized onions... something else. It was amaaaaazing. I also mooched some of Peg's blackened salmon and that was really good too. I'm pretty sure nothing can compare to that sandwich every again, though.

Metro

Ervin y Kayla :)

Washingtonian the following Sunday. We go there a lot to walk around and feed the meck mecks (the ducks)

The other day, it was one of those perfect mornings. I had time to enjoy it too! The sun was coming in so perfectly and it made everything very pretty. So I took some photos. I should do this more often. Being busy shouldn't be my excuse, but it so is.

First, my comfy, comfy bed. Look how awesome it looks being all comfy.

Yep, so that's about it. I have a few that came out from bowling (it was difficult and I didn't want to spend too much time figuring it out while I was supposed to be having fun). I'll deal with those later.

<3

Ideal Woman

2009-04-02T18:41:00.003-04:00

Wow. A very interesting piece of what women should be. People think it's funny and don't take it seriously. But this is a prime example of another "should" message we receive from society. Living by shoulds instead of your own values and not being yourself is the huge problem with young girls these days. I don't even have time or the space to write about all of that - just read Female Chauvinist Pigs. Anyway, this upsets me. Yeah it's kinda funny... but it is sending a REAL message whether you like or not. A huge trend has been women not striving for equality, but striving to take on traditionally masculine characteristics to achieve respect and success.

Child Development

2009-04-01T23:47:00.002-04:00

Man, I love my field. I really do. I find it so interesting. And I am more than willing (in fact, truly truly aspiring) to run my own center someday. I LOVE my time at the center. I observed them today from the booth (2 way mirror) and just thought to myself, wow, I really love them. I wanted so badly to get in there and be with them. I take that as a good thing.

I wonder how many other students actually look up things related to their field on their own? Watch videos and talk about it and read articles? I do. I wonder how many students, while in the center, sit back and think to themselves - What do I see here? Who is leading? Who is wandering? Who is negotiating? Are they choosing for themselves? What are they feeling, hearing, smelling, tasting? What are they interested in? How are they learning? WHAT are they learning right now? How can I push them just a little bit farther? I do.

I've heard some of the girls say they hate being at the center. But their aspirations aren't for working in a center some day. But it's still sad to me. I think a lot of the girls go in there and just kinda loaf around or bide their time until it's time to go. We talk about our experiences every week and the girls say so and so never speaks to me (a shy girl) and I thought, wow, really? She's one of the girls I am closest to! This particular girl is an ELL (English Language Learner) so she has a tough time and needs assistance. But (apparently!) I seemed to thrive on that because I naturally gravitated toward her and gave her some individual attention. I asked her a lot of questions like, "What is that animal?" "Boo-fly." "You're right, it's a butterfly. Can you say butt-er-fly?" You don't really do that with the other children but it's things like that, I feel at least, she needs. I just wonder how many of the students actually do things like that? Or do they just go and "babysit?" Hmm...

I love it. I'm scared to get a real job, but so very very very excited.

Money Sucks

2009-04-01T18:13:00.007-04:00

When do people EVER have the motivation to have children? Like, feel comfortable enough financially and everything to have one. WHEN? Also how do people ever have TIME for children. You get home at about 6pm. There's only like 3 hours until they have to go to bed. I don't understand how that is fucking possible. Unless you stay at home. And you can only do that if you're financially stable. I mean, it's impossible to wait until everything is perfect. You'd have kids at 50. But I mean what if you LITERALLY YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT. Like the money just IS NOT there. It might be hard for another generation to understand. They graduate, get married, get jobs, immediately start the balance between money in and money out. They don't have college loans that will last until they are 50 years old. We do. Did you know that this generation is actually the first that will NOT do better than their parents? Isn't that grand? Going to college doesn't give you the same advantage as it used to. Most people go now, and then when we graduate we enter the toughest competition that has ever been. Because not only is everyone pretty much college educated, so that the ones who really stand out now are the ones that, for instance, wrote their own computer program at the age of 14, haha, but also we're all into debt that we are just CLAWING at each other for the good jobs.

Yep, I'm being depressing. But it's the truth people. I literally do not think I will ever be able to afford having children. The type of field I'm in does not warrant much of a "ladder" in which to climb. It's pretty much crap to less crap. Perhaps if I were in the situation of my friend Jessie. She and her fiance don't have many loans because their parents helped them out and they were able to get scholarships because of involvement in high school. I wasn't allowed to do many things in high school that involved my dad's time or money. I wasn't allowed to join Junior Phil or gymnastics. I was in the Leo club for a while, but after a few times of my dad driving me to meetings and bitching the whole way and then later bringing it up in fights, I said fuck it. I wasn't part of clubs and I don't have good memories because of that. That's a whole other thing which depresses me. But the fact is that all the scholarships I looked at either wanted financial need (which I couldn't get because my dad made a lot but he never gave us ANYTHING) AND/or volunteer experience/success with an extracurricular activity. The only ones that I bothered looking at were those in music. There were a few that applied to me but of course the musical prodigy of my class got them ALL because he was class president and involved in a lot of activities. Yep. I was not called back for a single one. The only non-music one I applied for was the Corry Labor something or other one which was just an essay. I won that because I was the only one who applied, but it was only $500. That's not even one month of rent. So yeah...

Anyway back to my friend, her fiance makes a GOOD salary because he's insanely intelligent (like the 14 year old program writer I was talking about) and started out with 60k because of his marks and achievements. She makes more of a normal salary but she gets to mooch off of him and reap the benefits when buying a home and things like that.

Yep I'm screwed. The only thing I am thinking of that might help is loan forgiveness if I promise to work w/a specific employer for however many years. Thankfully loan forgiveness is quite prevalent in my field. It's more prevalent in fields that are serving others, like mine. So maybe I can get in on some of that someday. The way the economy is now though, I doubt that happening for at least ten years. I'll be 32. That's about as late as I want to consider having children. Not only for time reasons, but my eggs will start to go bad.

I'm very smart. I'm capable. I do well in everything I try. I am one of the girls in my class who does good work from the start, does not need to be told how to do things that much, has a good work ethic and high standards. I wanted to go to college so I could have a CAREER. I want to help children and families live better lives. But what do I get? Debt, stress and impossible odds. So thanks a lot life. Government. Circumstances. Whatever. *hisssss*

P.S. This is why I want to move to Canada or Australia or something. Maybe things would be slightly different because of the governments or the wage for my job or SOMETHING...

The Finish Line is In Sight!

2009-04-01T16:57:00.002-04:00

WHOA DOGGY.

Sandra called me today and asked if I could fill in for a therapist for a few weeks. Whoa. Like... for real sessions. Crazy! I said yes! It'll only be one day a week (3 different sessions) and I have no idea what's going to happen but... she said they know I'm not their permanent therapist and that I am new and things. So hopefully I just talk to them, give them advice, maybe find some specific things for their specific problems as I read their file and get to know them. Still CRAZINESS. Sandra must think I'm doing a good job to consider this for me. HOoray!

I'm all congested =( So is about everyone in my class so I guess that's where I got it from. And yes CLASS. Not CLASSES. I'm done with my senior synthesis! Thank JP because I now have 3 more clients to consider (and do paperwork for) and today in my major class we went over the final project which is surely to be insane. So yeah. Just because I'm done w/the class doesn't mean I can rest easy by any means. BUT I'm sad because I will really miss that class, it was interesting and it was nice to stare at that girl I like :)

FOUR WEEKS AND FOUR DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SUNSHINE!

2009-03-31T16:29:00.002-04:00

Oh man. 64 degrees. SUNSHINE. AMAZING, AMAZING SUNSHINE. I need my sunshine. You people do not understand. I NEED sunshine. I am solar powered.

So this is so amazing. I am happy. This kind of thing lifts my moods so much that it seems inhuman.

Best Movie + Best Song

2009-03-30T13:59:00.001-04:00

Makes me ball every time.

Nom nom nom

2009-03-29T14:14:00.000-04:00

One minute of your day for cuteness.

Found Things

2009-03-28T22:18:00.004-04:00

ACK. Okay one thing I LOVE is peeking into people's lives. I always have. That is one reason I have always loved watching Oprah. I love finding people's groceries lists. I love seeing photographs and wondering what they are like and who they love. It's really something that goes along with my own personality set; not that everyone is the same, but the people like me, who like the same things as me, also tend to like this sort of thing.

There are a ton of books (many which I own) that deal with this. "Milks, Eggs & Vodka" is a list of found grocery lists. "Suggestions" is actually a public art project where some people went around with a huge box in different areas of NYC asking for suggestions (they are GREAT... ie: take breath mints when offered, and, strong laws limiting who can wear cut off tops, and simple, it's all right). There is also "Passive Aggressive Notes", "Mortified: Real Words. Real People. Real Pathetic", and, "Other People's Love Letters." And much more. Right now I'm on the "Found" series. It's just called Found, and I'm on book one. I LOVE THIS STUFF. Actually... in high school one year I consistently left messages around the school and in people's lockers. Little inspirations and reminders. I did it secretly during lunch hour. It's a personality thing :) I also remember as a kid just loving little treasures, especially if they belonged to someone else first. I was THRILLED when mom moved to a REAL TOWN not only because I got to explore a new home that someone ELSE had lived in before (really cool to me) and find all the places I could hide things, but I also could walk the streets and leave my mark in little places. I remember specifically the rotary phone in "my new bedroom" at mom's place... I just treasured all of those things. I carved things into the gazebo in the park (yes yes I was THAT kid) and stuck little notes to the trees. I actually still have a journal of my "spy" phase - watching the neighbors and writing short stories about what their lives might be like. It was like I got a hint, a spark, and went 20 different ways with what the context of that small glimpse might have been.

Anyway I am still that way. I lost it for a while - about the time I lost a big chunk of myself due to dating and being totally immersed in a boyfriend who was a total STICK IN THE MUD. Yes I am blaming him. Deal with it. Anyway college is basically the perfect venue for this type of thing, which makes me sad that I'm going to leave and not be able to reap such benefits from being here. The library - oh the library! Books full of found goodies. Papers everywhere in the streets, in the dorms especially. *sigh* You always wish you could do things over right? I sure do. I wasted many a good "finding" years here. Oh well. As of late I have been back to posting little things for people to find though :) I like it. It's sort of going along with how much I love to do special things for people. I love giving presents, I love feeding stray kitties, etc. It's mostly selfless (that person/animal will not give you anything in return, except for satisfaction I suppose). One of the videos I just posted is all about that actually - about being selfless and how that is the true freedom in this life. Very Buddhist... which I love. Buddhism is great. Selflessness is by the far the best feeling ever. Except maybe huggles from my soul mate boy :) That is why people love volunteering so much.

ANYWAY... here is one of my favorites from book 1. There are a lot, but I just LOVE this one:

Found Note 1946

"My Pretty Little Miss:
I must write you this because I haven't yet found out what your name is but I know where you live and I followed you home last night.

Say - if you are married tear this note up and don't tell your husband. If you are single and long for a life partner, I am ready to leap without looking as long as I will find you where I land. If you want to meet me carry a newspaper under your arm tomorrow: I'll arrange it. Expectantly, ----."

:)

P.S. One of my favorite movies everrrr - Amelie - is SO EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!! Oh my goodness everyone should watch that movie. She is ME as far as that personality category. She has this imagination about people's lives and loves finding little treasures. She finds some good ones too. And finds her soul mate through collecting people's discarded photobooth pictures :) Ahh I wish my life were so whimsical.

P.S.S. One of the things that makes found things so great is that it really connects you to other people. You see yourself in them and you feel you share the human experience with a total stranger. It's this profound feeling of collective. It's hard to explain... but it's awesome. And it's just fantasy and imagination and amazing inspo for a writer :)

Awesome PSA

2009-03-27T23:40:00.001-04:00

Where the Wild Things Are + Guinea Pigs

2009-03-27T21:07:00.003-04:00

This looks excellent! (Also the song playing is one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands :) how about that)

Although I don't even think I really read the book when I was a kid. I never really did a lot of kid things like that. But I recall reading it in like 8th grade or somewhere thereabouts. Either way the movie looks good.

And I just love this. Talk about some good conditioning.

Consciousness, Science, Mind, Duality, God, and LSD

2009-03-27T20:21:00.003-04:00

Some points are somewhat familiar to me. Mostly though he just blew my mind. And opened up a bunch more shit for me to look up online and waste my time with.

Sexuality

2009-03-25T17:01:00.006-04:00

So I just watched an episode of Oprah about sexual fluidity. Some of my favorite subjects are gender, sexuality, women's studies, culture, and how they all come together. So this stuff is really interesting to me. Most of it was about women who were straight and "turned" gay.

It talked about labels and the spectrum of heterosexuality and homosexuality. It's hard to label because there are so many different levels. I have always thought this as well. To me, it's always been about the person, more so than the gender. (Which is why I HATE banning gay marriage but don't even get me started). Everyone is not like that though. Some people are truly 200% hetero or homo. They cannot even imagine it any other way and they may even be repulsed with it. That's fine, it's just who you are (just as long as you don't judge others). But me, I'm somewhere on the continuum. I guess I pay more attention to the person. Sexiness to me isn't just physical, it's really complicated and someone who isn't that attractive to others can seem insanely sexy to you. And it goes the other way around. I feel absolutely nothing for Brad Pitt. In fact, I think he's kind of gross.

I have had an odd number of women hit on me. I think it's because when I click with someone, we have some deep connection and we are very intimate right away. I can really look into their eyes and really connect with who they are. I'm a good listener and very open with myself. I have no problem telling people stories of my life. Back in the day, Brian was surprised that I told him my life story after just knowing him. I don't see why one would not do that. I guess it's a personality thing. But that's me - I'm pretty cool with just about anything. I think a lot of women who are gay may mistake that for attraction. Well, they're right, I was attracted to them in all of those circumstances, but not in a sexual way. Just on a deeper level.

As far as me, I am attracted to women all the time. They are pretty. Really pretty. I think it's more like, I notice the details of everything and appreciate everything that is pretty, and I'm constantly seeing the good side of things, so when I look at a person I notice all these things, male or female. I don't really pay that much mind to the gender, just that they are attractive. Attractive meaning physical + personality + whatever chemical shoots off in my brain when I see them. Just general attraction. I am always staring at women. They are sooo prettty haha. How can you not - even if you aren't gay. They are gorgeous.

Now to go deeper than that, I have had a few actual crushes on chicks in my life. The defining factor of this is being able to really "get" each other PLUS the above physical attraction. This RARELY happens though. Most of the time I can see myself being BFFs with so and so but I don't want them in "that way." I'm not sure how many times this has happened - usually it's something fleeting like meeting someone at a party and wanting to be close to them, talk to them, etc. Those feelings are an instant connection + physical attraction. I'd say maybe two or three. But they were never anything ongoing and we never acted on it. Right now, I have a "crush" on a girl in my pop culture class. I just can't stop staring at her. This is a combination of her beauty plus her awesome personality. Sometimes you can recognize a person from the across the room and know that you will instantly click. That is what this is like (though we have talked a few times, so it goes beyond that). She's not typical perfect woman beauty or anything either. She is different and curvy and gorgeous. Again, I have to force myself to stop looking at her.

Now for me, I don't think I could ever be satisfied sexually without a man. I don't know this for sure, of course. But that's just my assumption. I just love men and their big shoulders and scruffy face and everything else. So I'm not sure if I could live without that as far as sexually. I think it is the dominant side of me. Though I could enjoy a woman sexually I don't think I could be exclusive. But emotionally, yes, I would be fine with a woman I think. Though men and women express things differently, the MAIN difference would be the sexual aspect. Again it depends so much on the PERSON. If I found a woman who was "perfect" for me, she'd have all the qualities that a man would have if he was "perfect" for me. The difference is the sexual part. So, I'd be happy with her. I wouldn't really care if she had a wang or not. We'd figure it out.

(Also "perfect" is so stupid... you can never satisfy every single aspect of your being with just one other person. That is why we have friends. One person may be perfect for you in so and so ways, and another might lack those qualities but make up for it by beign compatible with the other aspects of yourself. So "perfect" is dumb and that is why I put it in quotes. A man would reconcile certain things, a woman others, but either way you would be happy and feel deeply connected. The only difference is if she has a wang. So that's why I say in general I dont' think I'd be happy with just a woman, because sexually I love men MORE than women, even though they are okay sometimes.)

So yeah, I think it's really complicated and can't just be labeled so easily. Even labeling someone bisexual is just too hard to define. Yes I'm attracted to other women but only very rarely would I actually be willing to be with them sexually. This one chick I might. But the others, eh. So it's not like one can really be labeled as it depends on the PERSON it depends on the CASE itself. It isn't an ongoing thing that is truly consistent. Anyway, I thought the episode was really interesting. I wonder how much culture plays a part (well, a large one I'm sure, but what specifically) in making our choices for us. The women on the episode had been married before. Did they really want that or was that something they were "supposed" to do. And when they found their current partner, did they discover they were truly gay, or just fall in love with the SOUL behind the gender. It's very complicated. I love these topics for some reason. I probably could have majored in it. I could also have majored in a million other things too! I just want to learn forever and ever :)

P.S. One woman I would totally jump on is Karen O, the lead singer of Yeah Yeah Yeahs. She is "super delicious." This is a good example - some people think she's weird or just not that attractive. But to me she is so amazing. I kind of love her. Here is a weird video but she is so hot in it. She is hot in all of them though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTL0YqRhxj0

More her face
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYJjHCZN46U

And a live video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_USQSu3R00A

And one more just for yums
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT1dlU2_Ub0&feature=related

Though I doubt anyone reading this will want to watch them all because the target audience is not so inclined to this music :)

Yums!

Glorious, Glorious Avocados

2009-03-25T12:11:00.004-04:00

I just have to take this moment to mention how much I love avocados. So, I have eaten them in sushi since I started eating sushi. I had never really had them beyond that, though. Maybe in a salad once. Rob and I bought some when we were making our own for-real-sushi with actual fish and whatnot this past VDay (which by the way makes me think of venereal disease day, which can be the case in many circumstances). I tried them without the sushi, just picking at the fillings here and there. Mmm they were quite delicious. I had a sort of idea for a wrap - turkey, hummus, avocado, spinach... or something along those lines, so I bought some avocados.

I tasted it by itself out of curiosity. MMM!!!!! So I looked up ways in which one would use an avocado. I had lime juice on hand so I tried the lime juice and salt route. OH. MY. GOD. I have not stopped eating them since. I have one or two every day. This cannot be good. It has a lot of fat, but it's monosaturated fat, so it's the "good" kind. Still, it can be stored and show up as flub. But, I really don't eat enough, or as much as other people, I should say. I just kind of munch when I feel like it. If I haven't done much that day I have like... a bowl of cottage cheese and that's it for the whole day. Other days when I'm busy I'll actually make dinner. My body is really good at regulating. I just am not hungry if I haven't done much (like on the weekends when I sleep and do work at home). So if I eat a few avocados and not much else, it can't make me gain weight or anything, right? RIGHT?! I don't know. All I know is that I cannot resist these.

I tried a half with olive oil and salt, as per Rob's sister's suggestion, and it wasn't that great. It was okay but I much prefer the lime juice. I have had it smashed on bread. Also good. I'm trying to find different ways of eating them straight up. I like it because you just eat out of the skin and it's like a little bowl :) And the dip where the seed was you just fill it up with your lime juice or whatever. It's wonderful. I am obsessed with avocados. I just had one. I want another. I MUST RESIST. I wish I could eat like 5 a day with no bad effects. Actually there is this article on a Californian avocado farmer and he eats at least 3 a day and he's fit as a fiddle. But he's a farmer and does much more physical labor than I. :(

In conclusion, avocados are probably in my top 5 favorite foods.

P.S. They are GORGEOUS too, are they not?! So aesthetically pleasing. I just love the colors. It was hard to find a good photo of the vibrant green, and the fading from darker to lighter green bordered by the dark purpleish skin... ahh so pretty.

Busy Bee

2009-03-20T19:22:00.002-04:00

Well it was back to a high of 40 today :( Very very sad indeed. But, Rob is coming tonight!!!!!! It will be glorious. Tomorrow I have my first self-esteem group. I'm a bit nervous to see what the girls are like but also excited. After the first meeting I think I'll feel fine about the whole thing. I'm actually feeling pretty good about it despite not knowing them yet and such. So it's all good. I'm just cleaning and waiting for Rob to get here.

I have so many books and so many projects to do that I can't just get to! UGH! This semester is crazy. I have at least 3 papers due every week guaranteed, plus everything else. I'm teaching another lesson plan on Tuesday. It'll all be okay, I just want some damn free time already hhaha. I mean I have some every night that is spent looking at email and things, but haven't had a good chunk in quite some time. So many little things to do. Le sigh.

Also did I mention I might go live in California for a few months? Yeah, that. We'll see.

FREAKING OUT

2009-03-18T16:49:00.002-04:00

IT
IS

72

FUCKING
DEGREES
OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!

Project Jenny, Project Jan - "Pins and Needles"

2009-03-14T16:49:00.000-04:00

Awesome!!!!

Legalizing Marijuana

2009-03-12T16:19:00.005-04:00

Penn is against alcohol and drugs PERSONALLY but believes in a free society which means legalizing them. It's your own choice to fuck up your life. Besides, making these things illegal just causes people to do it shadily, and get into a ton more trouble. Don't even get me started on alcohol being just as bad and legal! But I like this.

Bath Treats

2009-03-06T12:11:00.004-05:00

Just a quick shot of some things of late.

Far left: cocoa almond body butter
Red and white: candy cane sugar scrub
The little guy: vanilla almond lip butter - I made 9 of these and it's hard to tell in this photo but there are 2 different colors.
The tan stuff: milk and honey facial
The dark purple: red raspberry salt scrub

=D

I also made bath tub cookies a few weeks ago. They're like melts for your bath, not to eat! Just some quick crap shots. I think I took some while I was making them back then... but they're probably on my computer @ home.

They smell just like cookies and it really takes a lot not to take a bite.

I'm ALIVE!

2009-02-25T17:15:00.002-05:00

*BREEEEEEATTTTHEEEEE*

I feel like myself again!

My anger group started this week. Like real live honest to goodness counseling basically in a group setting. It's been going REALLY WELL. They love it. After my first day, I just walked slowly to my car, sat in it and smiled. I was like damn right. I just let myself wallow in the glory that was my achievement. I have 2 more days left this week of group and then I shall officially have completed a therapy group. Craziness. Everyone seems really impressed and the other therapists want to use my ideas. Even more craziness!!!!!! I've learned how to do treatment plans and progress notes... it's all very interesting and I really like it.

AND I did my very first lesson plan for the pre-k students this Tuesday. It's hard to explain to people who think child development is the same as primary education and stuff. TOOTTALLYYY different. Anyway it was pretty involved and had to be just so and I had to ask just so questions and do everything right so it was pretty intimidating. It's really complicated and I would basically have to write half a book to educate everyone on the little things you should do/should not do so that it is developmentally appropriate. It also took me forever and a year to plan this, get all the materials together and actually make it. It was a sifting activity that required sand and the sand was WET so I had to bake it in my oven (like over 50 pounds of it!) and it was heavy as hell... and oh my gosh so many things. Like peas needing washed cause they made the sand green... so many little things that just made it insane. But I did it, did REALLY well actually, like as soon as I brought the kids to circle I just got on my roll and never got off. I pretty much did everything I had hoped to do. And the best part is that the kids absolutely LOVED IT. They played with it for like two hours and that kind of attention span for the classroom is INSANE. Like they didn't ALL play with it for 2 hours but a few of them came back more than once and I wasn't able to put it away because there was always at least two or three kids playing in it. Anyway it was fabulous and the teachers thought it was really good. The kids asked if I was bringing it with me next time and if they could do it tomorrow. So cute!!!!

So that + the insane amount of planning that goes into a 2 hour a day for a week group has made me insane. Oh, and I had class and assignments for class on top of that. 3 papers. Good times.

But IT'S OVER NOW!!!! I still have group but I have most of it planned out so it won't be so bad. Tomorrow we're doing some relaxation techniques so hopefully that takes up a lot of time just doing that like with guided audio tapes. I'm not quite sure but I'm working on it now. Friday is wrap up and things so there's not too much to do with that either. SO HORRAY!

And then SPRING BREAK YAHHOOOOO!!!!!! I have things to do over break but it's not going to be insane so I'm suppereerrerr dudpperererrr happy :D

So today after class, I was like hooray the week from hell (well I'd say that was last semester the last week that was PURE HELL haha) so I walked to my last class because it was beautiful and sunny out :D and then after class I walked to this place and got a berry smoothie. And then I sat down on campus on this ledge and drank my smoothie, in the sunshine, while listening to my music. Ahhh it felt so good! That is something I really love to do - walk, relax, sit in the Oak Grove and people watch... especially when it's sunny. So I felt SOOO good after that. YAY!!!!

Actually okay Miley song?

2009-02-21T20:25:00.002-05:00

K I lied. One post. While I bake sand.

Okay let me say that I really hate Miley Cyrus. Not HER but her music and voice I should say. Also she is pretty annoying when she speaks but anyway. I DO like this song. It makes me think of my life right now. I like it.

Life, I have not

2009-02-21T17:36:00.002-05:00

I shall be MIA until further notice. I'm not dead. I just won't have time to sleep, eat, or breathe! :D

Adieu.

Walken Family Reunion

2009-02-19T16:08:00.000-05:00

And my 2nd favorite clip ever...

Googgly eyes!!!!!!

2009-02-19T15:59:00.002-05:00

Still my favorite SNL skit!!!!! A large part of it has to do with Christopher Walken because he is like my most favorite comedian of all time hahahaha oh man. Anyway.

SNL: Iran So Far

2009-02-19T14:44:00.001-05:00

HAHAHA these are so damn funny! This is about the president of Iran.

SNL: A Mofo Boat

2009-02-19T14:36:00.004-05:00

I LOOOVEEE Hulu and I love watching SNL clips in particular. They're short and make me laugh. This one is hilarious just because it shows how very very easy it is to make a rap song haha... (Though you kind of have to be up on pop culture for a lot of the SNL stuff to make sense)

Where Morals "come from"

2009-02-18T20:45:00.004-05:00

This video is long (10 minutes) but pretty good. It is exactly how I have always viewed it. The religious guy in the beginning comes from a standpoint that things have to come from someone - that old thinking that since people make things, everything has to be made from something - hence a god. BLEH! Morals don't necessarily come from someone laying down the rules and laws like a lot of rigid-minded people think. I never got to that standpoint, the standpoint that it had to come from somewhere, so I naturally gravitated toward the viewpoint in this video. Anyway you'll understand more if you watch. It's good.

I Guess You'll Do

2009-02-16T20:59:00.001-05:00

Wow this is really funny because it's so accurate. Life in America, eh?

Wordle

2009-02-16T18:18:00.006-05:00

Here's my Wordle :D Click on it to go to the site and the actual wordle.

Happy Monday

2009-02-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

I hate coming back...

2009-02-15T20:38:00.002-05:00

Thursday: Red Lobster

Friday: Absolute laziness, then got hammered and watched Baby Mama

Saturday: Slept in, laziness, cuddling, as usual, ALL over Gtown, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Office Max going out of business, I can't even remember everything, got stuff to make sushi and truffles. Made sushi, went into sushi coma, made truffles.

Sunday: Domino's for lunch, another office store going out of business, got some shit, packed and drove home :(

Now it's almost 9pm and I'm a sad Sarah. I do not want this week to start and I don't want to start it away from my boy. Everything is easier with him around. Stupid LOVE hahaha. This week and next week are going to SUUUUCKKK so bad I cannot even tell you!!!!!! Then spring break, but I'll be doing a lot of work during it anyway. Ugh. I just can't wait for this shit to be over you have no idea. I don't want to go to graduation or anything at all - I just want to take my last final, say FUCK YOU and go to Maryland forever and ever :) Except it won't happen like that and I'll have other stresses in Maryland. Why can't life be EASY haha. I like the easy parts! :( Stupid "growing" and crap... who needs THAT? I'm pretty happy where I am in that regard. I'll just stay here for a while and sleep in and exercise and take yoga and welcome Rob home every day and hit the lottery. :)

Funniest. Thing. I've. EVER. SEEN.

2009-02-13T15:26:00.001-05:00

Oh. My. God. I just about pissed my pants the first time I saw Rob's face.

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I <3 Red Lobster

2009-02-13T12:19:00.003-05:00

Last night Rob and I decided to go out to eat before the weekend and Valentine's day rush and it was the best idea ever. We went to Red Lobster and didn't have to wait at all and the service was great. I got a lobster tail, crab legs, shrimp scampi and this breaded shrimp stuff. It was The Great Feast or something like that. I ate almost all of it!!!! I only had a few shrimpies left and 1/2 of the lobster tail. I wasn't even full, just sick of all the rich flavors. It was WONDERFUL. Oh and that came with a salad and a side (broccoli for me). And their amazing cheddar bay biscuits. *sigh* It was wonderful. Rob and I had fun hanging out all night that we realized it was too late to start the movie we rented haha. Yay! And now while he's at work I have work to do that I'm putting off :D

Oh also I made bath tub cookies. Like bath bombs, but in cookie shape, and they smell like cookies. I can't use them until tomorrow because they need to be hardened. Blast! But they smell sooo good. I also really really REALLY want to use the gym here but I forgot my sneakers! I have converse and this sort of sneaker-y like shoe w/velcro... they won't be that comfortable to run in. I might do it anyway. I don't know. I really want to run. It will feel so good.

That is all. :)

Daddy Reunited with his Son After 4 Years

2009-02-13T10:59:00.001-05:00

*Heart Exploooodes* Talk about karma on the wife's part hahaha you'll see what I mean after a bit into the video.

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Having a Bad Day?

2009-02-11T18:43:00.001-05:00

Then check this site out. It's called Fuck My Life. It makes smile. And not just because of the title.

I Love Rings

2009-02-10T15:35:00.005-05:00

Oh my gosh. Rings and bracelets are my favorite and I usually have them on. I love having lots and lots of rings and bracelets on at a time (though not gaudy like old lady gold ones or something). Anyway it's been so long since I've bought a ring and I've gotten into a rut of wearing the same 4 every day, even though I look at them on Etsy every week and swoon. I have been eye-ing up Daydream Glass for... at least over a year. I just never bought anything mostly because I wanted so MANY at one time that I could not bring myself to choose. I just couldn't decide. Now, this particular ring, I can't be sure how long I have been pining for it, but I seem to remember looking at it while I was in Apt 14. So maybe a year? I can't imagine that it would stay up on Etsy without being bought for that long. But at least it feels like I have been wanting this particular ring for forever. I literally love every one of her rings but this one caught my eye because of the color combo. And so I bought it. And it came today. And I am in love.

AHHH I love it so. It looks even better in real life. *Le sigh* It's one of a kind, fits my finger perfectly and really stands out as a unique piece. I am in loooveee.

A Question

2009-02-09T23:44:00.003-05:00

So here's a question I can't seem to find the answer to. I burned myself today and when I run my hand under cold water it is instantly relieved and the relief lasts a while, and then I do it again. Why does this happen? Does it have something to do with constricting blood vessels? Hmm... I can't seem to find it online... helps!

Cute Video, Prop 8

2009-02-09T21:35:00.001-05:00

Awwwwww :')

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Elephants Make Best Friends

2009-02-08T21:42:00.000-05:00

Sooo cute!

Horse Drawn Carriages

2009-02-07T16:52:00.002-05:00

This is news to me. I've never seen them in traffic like this. That is sad.

YES!!!!!!

2009-02-07T15:54:00.003-05:00

I'm going to see Ray LaMontagne!!!!!!! Like FOR REAL!!!!! I'm soooo excited!!!!!!!

Yep yep yep! Friday April 3rd in Greensburg. I do not know WHY he is going to shitteous Greensburg but I do not care. I have bought tickets, 3 other people (maybe 4) are coming with me and I'M TRULY going to see him! It's not just a maybe. I'm so freakin excited you have no idea! Here is a good one, "Be Here Now". My favorites aren't really on videos :( this is sad because Empty and Sarah are great. Yep. There's a song about ME :P Okay not really but I like it all the same.

Sarah Palin Disney Movie

2009-02-07T12:59:00.001-05:00

HAHAHA

Seriously Girls

2009-02-06T12:52:00.002-05:00

Just a little something to add about me vs. other students like I was talking about.

I am taking a senior level, last class seniors take super professional type of course right now, teaching in CD centers. We write anecdotes allllll the time in my field. Observation is very important to learning. We got our first logs of floor work back during the last class in which we had to do two anecdotes, relate them to DAP and reference the pages and also relate it to classwork. And can you believe it? She said most of the anecdotes SUCKED. They were not anecdotes at all. They had no direct quotes and were full of opinion. I couldn't believe that these girls don't know how to fucking write an anecdote by now! Even if you didn't know how to do it, you should recognize the word ANECDOTE and be like hmm I vaguely remember doing these maybe I should look it up and figure out how we're supposed to do one. But no. And I got my paper back, kinda scared, but she wrote "good example of anecdote" next to mine :)

Cutest Animals

2009-02-06T10:51:00.003-05:00

Cutest. Thing. Ever. 45 pictures of cute baby animals. I want every damn one.

LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!! I love his nose, the front of his face, it's flat or something. I love him. I love his expression!

Insanely Small Knitting

2009-02-05T23:07:00.001-05:00

This is amazing.

Chi City and Comcast

2009-02-05T21:57:00.002-05:00

HAHAHAHA yay another Chi City vid. I can't help but not post it. This shit is so funny!

Reality TV

2009-02-05T21:06:00.001-05:00

Hahaha this is great, the Onion always brings it. This is basically how I feel about it too :P

Happiness

2009-02-05T19:59:00.006-05:00

I feel... happy?

This is such a weird sensation!!!!!! I have been stressed/anxious/restless among other things since I've gotten back to school pretty much.

But today I feel better. I slept till I felt like it (9 hours and 20 minutes of laying there and deciding to get up, right on the dot, it is just how I am people I have decided) and got ready and took my time and went to FBR. I started making brochures for my support groups. She hands me some binders of previous groups. This would have been helpful before! But I understand she probably didn't want me copying too much. Which I didn't, I swear, but oh my goodness. It just helps knowing that I'm doing what they kinda did. AND I think... I'm actually doing more than them? I'm not quite sure about this because I don't think everything they did is in those folders but I definitely saw the daily agendas. And it looks like I did a lot more research/preparing. So this makes me happy. Really happy. Cause this shit is stressing me out. I'm going to be fine. Yep. I'm going to be just fine. I'm going to walk in there and just TALK TO THEM. And that'll be fine.

Also last night Sandra and a lot of time together at this volunteer fair where we had a table and talked a lot. She is an atheist too among other cool things I found out. So that's awesome that we got closer. I really do like her. I feel even more comfortable with her now asking questions and just chilling out with her. HOoray!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm a slow person. Like... not in the head. But I think I do my work slowly. I read pretty slowly, and it takes me at least 4 hours to finish a paper that is only a few pages long. I think it is because I expect a LOT out of myself and really put a lot into everything I do. I guess that's good but damn it really takes forever. The first night I was at FBR I was there for like 5 or 6 hours doing work constantly in the office and Sandra is like damn girl you're still here? Haha. I guess that's not normal. But it is for me! I get pretty engrossed in what I'm doing and lose all sense of time. I also noticed this the other day when we turned in papers for my pop culture class. What we do is circulate them around the room and read each other's papers. The one I got was rubbish, short, didn't even write about all the topics we were supposed to write about. I turned to the girl next to me because I thought oh shit maybe I wrote about topics we weren't supposed to? And I asked her and she said oh haha I didn't write about them either I didn't even read that thing but yeah I think we were supposed to. I'm like holy crap haha. I just am so far off from that I guess. I really try very hard to do well. I think this will set me apart from some people in the real world, or put me into a place where people exist like me. However this does result in bad things sometimes; like I make some things more complicated and difficult than they really need to be and get stressed out about it. It's really hard to find that line.

Also the therapists talk a lot about weight and stuff you know just joking around hanging out and they always reference me as a skinny minny :) And the admin woman was talking about how she loves hats but doesn't look right in them and they all said I could probably wear whatever I wanted and look good haha and mom says that about me too! Oh crazy women. But it makes me feel good.

So I'm feeling pretty good right now. In fact I couldn't stop smiling as I left FBR. Cause I love talking to them and we get along well and I'm starting to feel like I could be one of them someday.

New Glasses... Lame.

2009-02-04T20:33:00.001-05:00

So I just got my new glasses. I haven't worn glasses in years because it is pretty pointless. But I figure I should probably have a pair in case I have a problem with my contacts or my eyes and can't wear contacts or something I don't know. Anyway here I am. Realizing why I hated them so much. This is what I see... everything is tinier than in real life, taller, stretched out, far away. Like the things in the center of my visual field are small and the things on the edges are bigger, like I'm looking through a sphere which I kinda am. That is pretty annoying. I have lost my depth perception. Also the edges are hella glare-y and distracting. And of course when walking about they make me dizzy and feel out of sorts but that it always is when I wear a new pair or change prescriptions. And look at how I look in these things.

See how through the glasses my face shrinks???!!!! Maybe that will help you imagine how I see out of the damn things!!!!! It's ridiculous! It's like some weird magnifying glass effect of some sort. I hates it. But that's okay, that's why I have contacts. I just wish I could wear glasses sometimes and look cute like other people do :( like at night when people are relaxed and wearing glasses, or when you're trying to look indie or smart... but I cannot do these things. I can with a fake pair though :) But ones that actually look like real glasses and not the blinged out stupid ones at Claire's actually cost like the same amount as a regular pair hahaha not really but it's still really expensive. *sigh*

The upside is this is the cutest pair I have ever gotten. This is probably as good as it gets for me. Just like how I will never see 20/20, this is just "as good as it gets". IRL they're pretty cute, considering how horrifically thick they are I mean.

But I don't think the headache is worth kinda looking cute at night but not really cute cause it looks really weird through the actual glass. Anyway. One reason I'm hesitant on having kids is giving them all my bad genes - like this and being so short and the whole ovary problems business. Ah well.

I HAAAAAAATE SNOOOOOOWWWW

2009-02-04T11:32:00.002-05:00

It's snowing. AGAIN.

WHEN WILL IT EVER STOP FUCKING SNOWING????

Seriously now. It has been snowing constantly these last few days. I have to clear off a few inches from my car every time I get into it, which is like twice a day. I'M FREAKING OUT. I'm so ova this shit!

Is there a price for happiness?

2009-02-03T23:22:00.002-05:00

Here is another good one. A little project done to see if expensive really does = better? And the end is very interesting indeed.When you hear it, think of it in the opposite way too. Happiness is so relative.

Jill Bolte Taylor: Stroke of Insight

2009-02-03T23:00:00.002-05:00

This is insane. This woman had a stroke was aware of it as it happened and lived to talk about it and what it felt like. So awesome! Basically this ties in with mindfulness and meditation and this is sort of what happens when you get really good at meditation. Control over your own brain. Awesome. (Warning: she does get a little hokey sounding near the end but just listen anyway)

High Little Kid

2009-02-03T21:47:00.000-05:00

Oh my god! This is AWESOME. Seriously just watch it. Don't worry it's laughing gas from the dentist, nothing illegal.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The Wrestler

2009-02-03T16:00:00.000-05:00

Anybody else see it? I didn't like it. It was pretty lame and didn't go anywhere for me. Maybe it's because I couldn't relate to him. And I am absolutely disgusted by wrestling.

Matt Shlian Insanity

2009-02-02T16:44:00.001-05:00

These are sooo cool. I know I can't do this shit. Especially being spatially challenged.

Weekend and Such

2009-02-02T16:27:00.003-05:00

The weekend was good. Friday night Rob and I watched The Wrestler, which sucked, and then had lots of us time. Then Saturday we went to Steph's and then Baltimore and it was fun :D I really like Baltimore, at least the pretty parts. One thing I noticed is that people seem scared of being in the city. I don't get it. I feel at home in the city. I likes it. Though if I were walking alone at night or something then yeah... but anyway. I don't think I'd live right in Baltimore but I would definitely like to live close enough where I can go to the harbor any time I want. We had dinner and walked around and it was a good time. Then back to her place and I passed out pretty quickly. It was midnight and I had some drinks in me. That combo = instasleep for me.

Sunday we went home for a bit then went out to Jeremy & Jess's place in Virginia for the superbowl. I took a nap during it because I was sitting on the couch and watching something that I find pretty boring haha. But the company and food were good. Also near the end it WAS exciting because, well if you watched it, you know. It was intense. I really honestly thought that the Steelers were going to lose. I was shaking my head at Rob like nope they're screwed now. Then BAM they do it in the last 40 seconds. INSANITY. They must feel amazing.

Today I saw Rob off to work :( and then got ready and drove back here. And now I'm going to wallow in my dirty apartment instead of cleaning it. Tonight at 6 there is something I've wanted for a really long time: a Post Secret "event" I guess. I don't know if you've ever heard of post secret but I absolutely LOVE it. You have to have the personality type to really enjoy it... basically people send in post cards with their secrets on them and this guy posts them online for the week and then files them in books for people to buy. It's awesome. If you like learning about people, people watching, seeing how other people live, that type of thing, you will love this. The people that tend to like this thing also for some reason are like me; kinda into some indie things and urban things, I do not know why it's weird, it's some personality type. But whatever, I'm so excited! Basically he talks about some cards he has gotten, and talks to the audience and they share some secrets and it's supposed to be awesome. I don't really have anything to share to be honest... umm... I pick my nose sometimes. That is about all the secret that I have. And now it's not a secret. Haha. :) But I like to listen.

Anywoozle, that's about it. I have a lot of work to do this week too. Blech. Also it was spring time in Maryland, sunny blue skies, really nice out, and then around Breezewood the skies turn gray and it starts to snow :( This makes me sad.

Her Morning Elegance - Oren Lavie

2009-01-29T20:18:00.001-05:00

You buy, yes?

2009-01-29T19:56:00.005-05:00

Contacts & Eyebrows

2009-01-29T17:19:00.005-05:00

YAY I got new contacts. They came in real fast. It's nice. Also, apparently the kind I have need replaced every two weeks. How about that. I was definitely told 1 month before, and I definitely wore them for about 3 months each pair. HA. I'm pretty sure I made a 6 month supply last over a year. Haha. The thing is, I never have problems with them. Rob has problems when he wears them. His eyes get dry or whatever. I can wear an old pair of contacts and feel perfectly fine haha. Either way I'm going to do it right this time and see what happens. It does feel nice to have a fresh, moist pair in. I really want colored contacts, I always have, but unfortunately it doesn't seem like they come in higher than -9 and I'm -11. What the hell! I really wonder why... but this pisses me off greatly. I would love to change it up... especially bright blue and green, and maybe one blue and one brown... hehe :) But I can't :( Maybe someday I can get lasik. Well, not lasik, it's this other thing my doc told me about. Lasik won't do anything for me but there is a way to help me out (putting an implant in my eye to change the shape or some craziness) but it might not completely reverse my poor eyesight, just lower my prescription. BUT I can't see 20/20 as is, and that might allow me to see 20/20 with contacts/glasses. And then I wouldn't look retarded in glasses, as I do now, because they are coke bottles.

Also I got some new eyebrow rings the other day and tried a few out. Now my piercing is bruised a bit. It's either because of the in and out 5x or the stupid clear retainer. The one end has a little nook that a ring fits into...

Like so. The top is just permanently on there, and the bottom, you have to fit this impossibly tiny ring onto it until it rests in the nook. WELL the problem is getting that biatch through your hole. On the way down it wasn't too bad. On the way OUT (up) the freakin nook catches and pulls and hurts. Now, my piercing does not hurt normally at all. It feels just like any other skin. It's the same feeling as when you put earrings in. So don't get all grossed out. It's just like earrings. But damn that nook, it hurt!!!! So the bruising could be from that. I also have a ring in now instead of bar which I've had for the past like 3 years. It has a bit more of a curve to it. I'm considering taking it out and putting the bar back in just to make it healthy again but I really like the change soo... I probably won't.

Anyway I'm done rambling.

Being Lazy

2009-01-28T10:32:00.001-05:00

Classes were canceled for today due to the ice rink that is the ground. AND it happened to fall on a day where I DO have class so that's awesome!!!!!! Although this is doing nothing for getting me motivated to do my work and whatnot. Just sayin.

And omg this is so freaky. Not in a scary way, but just weird. I can't embed but here it is. Incentive: it's a puppy. http://tinyurl.com/425lz6

Clothes, Finally

2009-01-26T20:59:00.004-05:00

Also, quick note, I went shopping today and basically hated every minute of it BUT I found some cute things. NOTHING I tell you NOTHING in the misses department fit me. The small shirts were way too big and the size 2 pants, I think they were lying, they were like 6. And they only had like 2 styles that came in size 2. I basically found nothing at Sears and their juniors department was non existent it seemed. I did get some cute dress boots though. I was going to Penny's and stopped at Maurice's on the way over and never made it to Penny's. Maurice's had tons of cute "hip" office wear! I was excited. I got a lot of stuff and hopefully I'm done - I think I need a pair of blank pants or something. But seriously I have never tried on this type of stuff before; it seemed to me like only typical dumb girls wore girly trendy shirts and went out to the bars in them. HOWEVER I do not THINK I look like them in the way I wear the things I bought. I really hope not. I actually look really cute in some of these things. And wearing heels makes my legs look the length they SHOULD be (thanks for stunting my growth dad nah just kidding it's probably genes) haha. So that's good. I still feed a bit weird in some things... but now that I found non-frump office wear I'm feeling better. So basically I have to go to the more special shops for younger wear because these things do not exist in at least Sears. Sucks because it's more expensive though. I swear everything on Sears was on clearance or something haha. Not so much in Maurice's. I'll take a few pictures when I put something together each day to go to FBR. Toodleoo!

P.S. I even tried SKIRTS. However I couldn't find anything I liked... they make me look too... I dunno. SHORT. My legs are short and I have an okay torso - so they made me look really dumpy. That is also because I only found like 1 style of skirt there. I do like the knit fabric swirly type skirt though depending on the color/print won't be appropriate for an office. I didn't find anything like that as I didn't go to any other stores. Maybe next time I go out I can find something. But anyway. Skirts and I just don't agree.

Hindu Song of Awesomeness

2009-01-26T20:32:00.003-05:00

In honor of possibly going to India, or something, somewhere, to learn things about life and ourselves, I give you this awesome song Renee sent me.

Now that is a song to do some breathing yoga to. It feels so good to focus on this very moment (it's really hard to do actually and complicated and I don't feel like explaining the theory behind mindfulness but you can look it up!) and just stretch and breathe and your head eventually goes into this weird state... meditation I guess. It really is weird. Not gonna lie. I'm not into some hokey new age stuff but I can't deny how good this type of stuff feels. Like I posted before, I think I do this now and then on accident, like walking down the street and taking in everything of the moment; the smell the feel all that. It's awesome. Forget everything and let go and focus. Mmm I loves it. Sounds gay but if you do it you'll know.

Crazy Meggers

2009-01-26T00:40:00.003-05:00

I'm going through all of my photos. It's nice looking back. But I just had to post this picture of Meg. She's insane.

GORGEOUS

2009-01-25T16:39:00.001-05:00

Oh my goodness. I love everything in her shop.

But I had to post about this dress. Gorgeous. I want it. Too bad it's really expensive.

CRAZINESS right here

2009-01-25T15:58:00.006-05:00

I don't want to jinx this or get my hopes up... but see this car?

Yeah. It might be mine. And not even this one specifically, but any Suzuki SX4, Honda Fit, something along those lines. Why you ask? Did I hit the lotto? Oh no no. I wish. DAD might be buying one FOR ME. WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON.

I called and talked about contacts and other things. He was like oh you know what I did the other day, I bought an SX4 from this guy on a whim! At first I thought he was crazy, because he just bought a Vitara (I think) not a year ago and still has the Town & Country van (which is old). He talked to this guy getting his oil changed and thought it was a good deal so he wrote a check. AMAZING. But then I was like oh hey maybe he's going to give it to me? Or Aaron? Or? Something? He said he thought about Aaron but wasn't sure because Aaron keeps refusing vehicles and doesn't seem to really want one. He gave the van to my uncle for now but is considering letting Aaron have it, but feels bad because my uncle's truck is really shitting out on him and he really needs the van. I told dad that Aaron can have my Buick. And I can have the SX4 :D TEEHEE. All jokey jokey planttheseed kind of way. He said he thought about me too. So I milked the hell out of this conversation and then, all on his lonesome, I was only dropping hints about how much the Buick sucks nuts, he starts looking up vehicles online and talking about them with me. And which ones I like. And things like that. So we got on websites together and talked for like two hours. And found a few really good ones. He said, in his way that he does, "Well... you know if I get some more money going, maybe I can have them call me if they can get something good in." Haha. Even though he is looking for specifics right now, and boasting about how good this one is and that one is etc. That's just his way of saying "I might buy you a car." He has to put it the way he does so that he doesn't just tell you straight out. He's weird like that.

Do I feel bad about him buying me a car? Yes. Should I? FUCK NO.

I'm trying not to get excited. But this would be amazing I'm not gonna lie. My buick is a piece of crap. I mean I WILL drive it into the ground and milk every last mile out of that baby and appreciate having it IF I end up keeping it. But I'm not going to lie about how good it is and I'm certainly not turning a new (used) car down. =D

Terry Tate Office Linebacker

2009-01-24T11:06:00.001-05:00

You may (or may not) have seen a few Terry Tate Office Linebacker spots on TV. If you haven't, you're missing out. Here is the long version. It's freakin hysterical!!!!!!

The Night of Smoke Alarms

2009-01-22T19:53:00.003-05:00

I have to take a few minutes to explain the insanity of my night last night. Because I just don't get it.

At about 3:30 am the smoke alarm in the hall goes off. What the hell. I live in an apartment building (not a dorm) so I just laid there and waited. It happens sometimes. And if there was really a fire I could climb out of my window because half of my apartment is underground so the ground is almost level with the bottom of my window (maybe like 2' difference). Anyway I just laid there and the damn thing was not stopping. Oh my god. I heard people talking in the hallway. After like 15 minutes this chick comes out and says oh teehee I'm so sorry you guys it was me, I burnt something in my oven but there's no real fire teehee. Oh, and may I also mention that a few minutes before that some guy said he could smell smoke in his apartment. How in the HELL do you burn something THAT bad, that it makes the smoke alarm in the HALL go off for approximately 15 minutes and make other people's apartment smell up with smoke. Like, was burning for over 10 minutes in there? JEEBUS. And why didn't you come out right away and say it was your fault so people didn't think there was a damn fire in the building? The girl next to me has a little boy and she just GTFO because of her kid so she was sitting outside in the cold with a little kid who was woken up at 3 am because some little bitch wouldn't come out and say it was her fault. Seriously!

It went off and on for quite some time after that. ANNOYING. Thankfully I'm pretty good at going back to sleep after being rudely awakened.

BUT THEN! At about 5am it WENT OFF AGAIN. I was sooo pisssseeed. I didn't hear anyone come out that time they were probably like me the first time - in bed and not giving a shit. It went off and on THREE more times before it finally stopped. I still don't know who was responsbile for that one. So crazy.

Why the hell was she cooking at 3am anyway? She was probably drunk or something and wanted something to eat, and then passed out while it was cooking. Sigh.

I'm kind of over it now but still it was a fun story. I just don't UNDERSTAND what happened. Like... WHAT THE HELL. Oh well.

Yay Music

2009-01-22T11:19:00.002-05:00

I might have posted this before but I will do it again! I friggin love this song and the video is probably the best music video I have ever seen. It's obviously pretty awesome and funny but there are some subtle things that you might catch too. Anyway here it is. Mmm it makes me so happy!

And I think that this one is tied for #1. I wasn't going to post it but I can't help it I love it so!!!!!!

Yes We Can

2009-01-21T12:18:00.002-05:00

This song is pretty sweet. Again I think people are thinking he'll change everything BUT! I think that it's good to have this kind of attitude, so whatever brings it about, I'm cool with.

Political Cartoons

2009-01-20T11:24:00.002-05:00

Some funny cartoons. I picked these ones out. From here.

Why Rob and I felt it pointless to go.

How many people are acting it seems :)

Beautiful Day

2009-01-20T11:05:00.005-05:00

Ahh, what a wonderful day. I remember seeing Barack Obama a few years before he announced he was running on Oprah. Even then Oprah said he should be president and he had that UMPH that people love so much. I think people are getting a bit out of hand with him though. They think he is going to solve every problem our country has ever had. Haha that's funny... on CNBC they just said "I actually think he needs to lower expectations, people think he's the messiah or something," and that is how I feel. Relax people it's still politics. With that being said, I do think he will be enormously better than Bush. I think a lot of the hope comes from how crappy Bush was and any kind of change is really welcome. Plus Barack is very eloquent so people are a bit in awe of him. I do think people are expecting too much, but I also think he will do a good job, and I love how honest he is (moreso than most politicians it seems but no one can be perfect). There is definitely reason to be excited, but holy crap people are FREAKING OUT. So that's how I feel!

I find it exciting on two big points. Bush is getting OUT OF OFFICE. I don't care who it is just get that bastard out. And the other of course that this is the first (half) black president. Very very cool indeed. Not only is it the whole race thing, but also he is just changing the face of what the president should be. A rich white man... type of thing, you know? That picture perfect JFK thing. So that's good. It's like bringing in plus size models into fashion shows; real life, not picture perfect. And isn't it crazy that yesterday was MLK Jr. Day, and today is the same day that Abraham Lincoln was elected? It doesn't MEAN anything, just coincidence, but so cool!

So yay!

WHY JOE PESCI WHYYYYY

2009-01-16T10:54:00.004-05:00

Temp: -4
Wind Chill: -21

uUuUUuUuUUUUUUMMmmmmm.... and of course it got much colder last night, the lowest that I saw on weatherbug when I was awake was -6.

I was going to get my eyebrows done today... I dunno. There is going to be a high of 5 degrees! HOORAY. Rob is coming tonight. I hope he is careful.

And I had sushi last night and it was wonderful.

And I'm thinking about taking a yoga class.

Classes + Internship

2009-01-15T15:00:00.009-05:00

So here's the DL on my semester. Rhetoric of Pop Culture, my senior synthesis, is going to basically kick ass. The prof is super laid back and really cool. The work seems interesting and relatively easy. Basically we get to watch movies and read books (pop culture after all) and discuss them and tell our opinions about things. Lord knows I love to tell my opinion on things. So I'm really going to like it. I took it because it sounded interesting and it seems like it will be. So that's awesome! It's a front loaded class so everything is pretty much due in the first half rather than the second like most classes, and she has this system where the number of assignments you complete = your letter grade. She doesn't actually judge your work individually, you just get credit for it if you do it half decently. Which is great because it really takes the pressure off and I think I'll enjoy the material more when I'm not worrying about silly things. I can really just say what I think. Sweet.

Teaching in CD Centers... that is going to be interesting. I'm really going to learn how to be a professional it seems this semester. That is something I'm not really good at. I ALWAYS lean toward being casual and personable instead of real professional. I can't help it! I'm just a laid back person and I feel too harsh when I don't make little jokes and soften the mood you know? I guess that's not a bad thing - my favorite professors are this way. However in some situations I guess you really need to get rid of that almost completely. I am learning this anyway. Basically I'll be teaching the pre-k class 3 hours a week and observing any room I want at any time 1 hour a week. Observation sounds lame but it's actually harder in some ways than being in the classroom. And it's insanely important to do throughout your career. Anywhoozle, I'll be doing lesson plans for them, writing logs, papers, all kinds of stuff. Basically the student teaching is the biggest part and it's going to be intense! I picked the pre-k because I am so done with the ones I can't talk to because they are so young. They're good in some respects but I think that the work we have to do for this class would be a lot easier with the older children because we really get to talk and interact and play together. These will be 3-4 year olds (maybe a few early fives) so that sounds fun to me. It's goign to be tough though because we expected to actually be like the STAFF you know, not just sit there like in infant development. This is frightening AND exciting because I really DO love the kiddos and I really do want to be their teacher. It's just scary as I haven't worked in a center before besides lab experience from classes. Anyway this thing is supposed to be very professional and we are judged like as if we are really working there and all so it'll be interesting.

AND my internship. I feel a lot better after talking to Sandra today. Basically I can do whatever I want. That is intense! I thought there would be some kind of "this is what we usually do" but there isn't. Which, like Sandra said, is pretty much like real life. I agree. I just never thought of it as I suppose my head is in college mode where they tell you to do something and you do it. It's really cool to think about but also really scary. REALLY scary! I don't know much of anything about adolescents and adults; my specialty is with children. However I think this will be really valuable because of that very reason. If I end up working for a place like this where I work with FAMILIES then it will come in handy you know. Even working in a CD center you have to work with the parents just as much as the children so it's pretty important to have skills for dealing with adults in this way. I think it'll be fine because I have a lot of people to help me including Sandra and she is really personable you know I don't feel uncomfortable just relaxing when it's me and her so I think it'll be okay...

Anyway, here is where I'm going to learn to be a professional more than anywhere else. Because wow. Sandra and I had a good talk about things like this and I feel like I explained myself well and she understands where I am coming from. I am so used to casual and friendly that this is going to be hard but I think I can do it. Basically she told me I am a staff member, I WORK here essentially and these are my colleagues and I should not feel inferior just because I'm an intern or that I'm young or that I'm short. Which were my concerns. Basically that I am just like everyone else and I should grow a pair and act like it. :) I like her. Haha. But she understands because she is short too and felt the same way coming out of school. I really need to treat myself as if I know shit. Which is hard because I don't really know much. Really I don't. Well when it comes to adults anyway. I know a good bit when it comes to the kiddos. But she said to at least just act like it. She said I act confidently but then she gets emails from me where I sound unsure. That's true. So, at least I come off confidently to others. That is good. I worry a lot in my head. But I guess on the outside I still keep that illusion most of the time. I mean... I AM confident for sure, and very confident in some aspects of life. Like I feel pretty confident working in a CD center. But for this not so much. But at least I still come off confidently. That's good. Sandra said I have a good personality so it really shouldn't be hard for me etc. I just need to grow a pair and not second guess myself. But at the same time I feel like if I don't second guess myself I'm being rude and arrogant, assuming that I know what's right. And if I'm wrong it looks like I'm arrogant, you know???? I don't want to come off as "I'm right" because I might not be I guess. I really hate conceited people and that = conceited in my head. But at the same time I really do need to come off as "I'm right" because that's my job - they are looking for answers. So much pressure!!!!!

So what the hell, Rob gets to put bacteria on patches and do paperwork and I have this kind of pressure? To entirely make up workshops from my head and resources for people with REAL problems and to act like I know what will solve their problems. !! I guess that is the career I chose, isn't it? No wonder everyone is so stressed all the time in this field. It's a lot of pressure. You need to watch yourself a lot and sort of keep a professional face on... at least for me it feels like a face. Because my real face is so much more friendly and laid back, saying things like "hey guys" and "well this video is a bit cheesy but here we go" instead of "hello everyone" and "this video was made quite a while ago but it still has some valid points." You know??????? I feel like a poser. But I guess that's just what you gotta do. This is one reason why my heart leans toward working in a CD Center - things are really relaxed, you can wear jeans and a tshirt and it's all about fun and happiness haha. I'm very strong in empathy, consideration, being a friend, lending a hand, giving people the benefit of the doubt, being nice, being kind. I'm not so good at the being firm and being annoyed and being angry. Like if a client were to do something crazy I would feel bad for them and kind of feel for them, but also try to help them, but I'm always concerned with letting them know that I'm there and I understand and it's all okay. It seems like most people react with being annoyed or scoffing at it or being shocked or something. So I guess I have to learn to be more firm and things. I just don't think I have the credentials behind me to be firm. But ah well.

Also another thing is what I'm going to wear at a job like this and during my actual group sessions. I know this sounds crazy but a huge factor in whether or not I want a job like this is the attire!!!!!! I feel like I'd be giving up my style. No skinny jeans and Chucks, no indie band tshirts. Dress pants and a casual shirt, hell yeah. Nope. Can't have any of that. It's boring, older lady style it seems. I don't know what to wear. I really don't. I can't wear skirts below my knee, it makes me look like a midget. Even more than I am I mean. I can wear skirts just above the knee, but what kind? Seriously the ones that just come straight down look SOOOO OLD LADY TO ME!!!!! Plus I hate skirts. I just look funny in them. Okay so pants. Like a pant suit. This I could pull off if I have the right one. BUT I'm small people... for some reason it just makes my shoulders look too big, this whole thing is too bulky. Also I'm so small that it is hard to find sizes in the misses. I have to go to juniors. They don't have pant suits in juniors. And part of me feels like a pant suit is a bit much for everyday. For the group sessions yeah. But for every day what the crap am I supposed to wear? All I see is ... so not me. Like dress up shirts. Like this

GAG ME WITH A SPOON. It looks okay on her but those things just don't work on me, I don't think plus they just aren't ME they're not my personality. I feel like such a poser!!!!! I just feel like I am giving myself up. The other thing I see is buttoned up shirts and I'm relatively okay with those. But the thing is... it' s not even that professional there at FBR. I see a lot of the women wearing nice jeans and a pretty top. But that is SO not me. I would feel like such a poser in that. Ughhh. I hate this! I don't want to look too "hot" but I dont' want to look frumpy either and that is really hard. I feel like the medium is the kidn of stuff I wear now but it definitely makes me look like a college kid. BLEEEHHH!!!!!! I need help! :(

So that is that. It's going to be a VEERRRRYYY interesting semester indeed. I'm really getting thrown into being a real out in the workplace person and I think that is good.